Smile wide with these hilarious bean puns, jokes, riddles and one-liners! Green beans, coffee beans, jelly beans, cool beans, baked beans and more! A huge collection of the funniest bean puns you will ever find!
Just as there are many different types of beans, there is an abundance of bean puns.
I have gathered the best bean puns, jokes, riddles and idioms for you below.
You can use them in a text message, Instagram caption, birthday card message, or anywhere else that you want.
Without further ado, let’s dive into the best bean puns!
BEAN PUNS, JOKES AND RIDDLES
- You are a great human bean.
- You and I are meant to bean.
- Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green bean farm? It was in a seedy part of town.
- Why were the two green bean plants so close? They had deep roots.
- Why wasn’t the young veggie allowed to start in the game? He was a green bean.
- Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the green beans stalk.
- Why do peas dislike noisy eaters? Because they want peas and quiet.
- Why did the kicker bring string beans to the football game? Just in case he needed to tie the game?
- Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
- What made the green bean turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
- Why couldn’t the green bean answer the door? It was in the can.
- Why can’t you trust a burrito? In case it spills the beans.
- Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup? Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.
- Where did the green bean go to have a few drinks? The salad bar!
- When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ”Good heavens,” he said, ”what is this?” ”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. ”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. ”What is it now?”
- What’s beans’ favorite hat? A beanie.
- What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
- What vegetable can tie your shoes? String beans.
- What kind of vegetable is jealous? A green bean!
- What do you call a group of trendy beans? Cool beans.
- What kind of stockings do you need to grow green beans? Garden hose.
- What kind of shows do green beans do? Pod casts.
- What kind of beans can’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans.
- What is your favorite pirate movie? Pirates of the Carib-bean.
- What holiday do green beans like most? St. Patrick’s Day – because they fit right in!
- What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience? They are having a deja brew.
- What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean? De-calf.
- What do you call executive peas? VI-Peas.
- What do you call an athletic bean? A runner bean.
- What do you call a pea that works in the circus? A tra-peas artist.
- What do you call a historical bean? Jacobean.
- Coffee beans must have low self-esteem because they’re always getting roasted!
- What do you call a bean that’s an angel? A celestial bean.
- What do you call a bean that’s a zombie? A zom-bean.
- What do you call a bean that was previously famous? A “has bean”.
- What did the pasta say to the green bean? Penne for your thoughts.
- What did the mama green bean say to her son who got home late? Where have you bean?
- What did the green bean say to the corn that graduated from high school? Corn-gratulations.
- What did the green bean have to pass to get its license? The salad bar.
- What did the bean say to its friend who returned from a long holiday? You’ve bean gone forever! How have you bean?
- What did the bean of coffee say to its wife? You are brew-ti-ful.
- What did Hamlet say? To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
- What are zombies’ favorite beans? Human beans.
- What appliance stressed out the green beans? The pressure cooker.
- The three different life stages of a coffee bean: 1. still green at this, 2.bean there, done that, 3.has-bean.
- The jelly bean went to school because it wanted to be a smartie.
- I’ve bean thinking of you!
- Suffice to say I’m just looking for the beaning of life.
- Mr. Bean has just predicted the weather, and he says it’s going to be a bit chilli.
- If you’ve pea’d on the floor, don’t worry. We’ve all bean there.
- I’m happier than I’ve ever bean!
- I went to the store today and I wanted to buy canned black beans, but I accidentally got pinto. You can hardly blame me though, the resemblance was uncanny.
- I think I ate too many beans for dinner. In Heinz sight, it was a poor decision.
- I can’t espresso how much you bean to me.
- How are coffee beans like teenagers? They’re always getting grounded!
- Do you think I’m funny? I’ve bean practicing jokes all day!
- Where have you bean all my life?
- Wow, you’ve been brilliant!
- Bean there, done that!
BEAN EXPRESSIONS, IDIOMS AND SLANG
Apart from bean puns, there are many bean expressions and idioms used in everyday language that have a different meaning. I have listed the most popular below.
- Spill the beans – reveal secret information unintentionally or indiscreetly.
- Cool beans – used to express approval or delight.
- Bean counter – an accountant or bureaucrat, placing excessive emphasis on controlling expenditure and budgets.
- Beanfeast – a party with lots of food and drink
- Beanpole – a tall, thin person.
- Bean wagon – an inexpensive dining establishment.
- Doesn’t amount to a hill of beans – of little or no importance, value, or worth.
- Full of beans – full of energy and life OR not correct or truthful, full of nonsense.
- Not have a bean – to have very little or no money.
- Not worth beans – having little or no value, completely useless or worthless.
- Beantown – a nickname for the city of Boston, Massachusetts (famous for its baked beans).
- Bean time – time to eat, especially dinner.
- Beanball – in baseball, a pitch that strikes the batter on the head.
- Give someone beans – to scold or yell at someone.
- String bean – very skinny or lanky person.
- Know (one’s) beans – to be knowledgeable about and/or very familiar with something.
- Know how many beans make five – an old-fashioned expression that means to not be a fool; to be intelligent, sensible and capable of making wise and responsible decisions.
- Down to chili and beans – broke or destitute.
I hope you have enjoyed my selection of the best bean puns, jokes and expressions.
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