Smile wide with these hilarious bean puns, jokes, riddles and one-liners! Green beans, coffee beans, jelly beans, cool beans, baked beans and more! A huge collection of the funniest bean puns you will ever find!
Just as there are many different types of beans, there is an abundance of bean puns.
I have gathered the best bean puns, jokes, riddles and idioms for you below.
You can use them in a text message, Instagram caption, birthday card message, or anywhere else that you want.
Without further ado, let’s dive into the best bean puns!
Super Funny Bean Puns, Jokes And Riddles
- You are a great human bean.
- You and I are meant to bean.
- Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green bean farm? It was in a seedy part of town.
- Why were the two green bean plants so close? They had deep roots.
- Why wasn’t the young veggie allowed to start in the game? He was a green bean.
- Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the green beans stalk.
- Why do peas dislike noisy eaters? Because they want peas and quiet.
- Why did the kicker bring string beans to the football game? Just in case he needed to tie the game?
- Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
- What made the green bean turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
- Why couldn’t the green bean answer the door? It was in the can.
- Why can’t you trust a burrito? In case it spills the beans.
- Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup? Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.
- Where did the green bean go to have a few drinks? The salad bar!
- When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ”Good heavens,” he said, ”what is this?” ”Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. ”I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. ”What is it now?”
- What’s beans’ favorite hat? A beanie.
- What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
- What vegetable can tie your shoes? String beans.
- What kind of vegetable is jealous? A green bean!
- What do you call a group of trendy beans? Cool beans.
- What kind of stockings do you need to grow green beans? Garden hose.
- What kind of shows do green beans do? Pod casts.
- What kind of beans can’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans.
- What is your favorite pirate movie? Pirates of the Carib-bean.
- What holiday do green beans like most? St. Patrick’s Day – because they fit right in!
- What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience? They are having a deja brew.
- What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean? De-calf.
- What do you call executive peas? VI-Peas.
- What do you call an athletic bean? A runner bean.
- What do you call a pea that works in the circus? A tra-peas artist.
- What do you call a historical bean? Jacobean.
- Coffee beans must have low self-esteem because they’re always getting roasted!
- What do you call a bean that’s an angel? A celestial bean.
- What do you call a bean that’s a zombie? A zom-bean.
- What do you call a bean that was previously famous? A “has bean”.
- What did the pasta say to the green bean? Penne for your thoughts.
- What did the mama green bean say to her son who got home late? Where have you bean?
- What did the green bean say to the corn that graduated from high school? Corn-gratulations.
- What did the green bean have to pass to get its license? The salad bar.
- What did the bean say to its friend who returned from a long holiday? You’ve bean gone forever! How have you bean?
- What did the bean of coffee say to its wife? You are brew-ti-ful.
- What did Hamlet say? To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
- What are zombies’ favorite beans? Human beans.
- What appliance stressed out the green beans? The pressure cooker.
- The three different life stages of a coffee bean: 1. still green at this, 2.bean there, done that, 3.has-bean.
- The jelly bean went to school because it wanted to be a smartie.
- I’ve bean thinking of you!
- Suffice to say I’m just looking for the beaning of life.
- Mr. Bean has just predicted the weather, and he says it’s going to be a bit chilli.
- If you’ve pea’d on the floor, don’t worry. We’ve all bean there.
- I’m happier than I’ve ever bean!
- I went to the store today and I wanted to buy canned black beans, but I accidentally got pinto. You can hardly blame me though, the resemblance was uncanny.
- I think I ate too many beans for dinner. In Heinz sight, it was a poor decision.
- I can’t espresso how much you bean to me.
- How are coffee beans like teenagers? They’re always getting grounded!
- Do you think I’m funny? I’ve bean practicing jokes all day!
- Where have you bean all my life?
- Wow, you’ve been brilliant!
- Bean there, done that!
BEAN EXPRESSIONS, IDIOMS AND SLANG
Apart from bean puns, there are many bean expressions and idioms used in everyday language that have a different meaning. I have listed the most popular below.
- Spill the beans – reveal secret information unintentionally or indiscreetly.
- Cool beans – used to express approval or delight.
- Bean counter – an accountant or bureaucrat, placing excessive emphasis on controlling expenditure and budgets.
- Beanfeast – a party with lots of food and drink
- Beanpole – a tall, thin person.
- Bean wagon – an inexpensive dining establishment.
- Doesn’t amount to a hill of beans – of little or no importance, value, or worth.
- Full of beans – full of energy and life OR not correct or truthful, full of nonsense.
- Not have a bean – to have very little or no money.
- Not worth beans – having little or no value, completely useless or worthless.
- Beantown – a nickname for the city of Boston, Massachusetts (famous for its baked beans).
- Bean time – time to eat, especially dinner.
- Beanball – in baseball, a pitch that strikes the batter on the head.
- Give someone beans – to scold or yell at someone.
- String bean – very skinny or lanky person.
- Know (one’s) beans – to be knowledgeable about and/or very familiar with something.
- Know how many beans make five – an old-fashioned expression that means to not be a fool; to be intelligent, sensible and capable of making wise and responsible decisions.
- Down to chili and beans – broke or destitute.
I hope you have enjoyed my selection of the best bean puns, jokes and expressions.
Just before you go, make sure to also check out these hilarious PEACH PUNS, NAME PUNS, MUSHROOM PUNS, CELERY PUNS, STRAWBERRY PUNS, BAT PUNS, SANDWICH PUNS, CORN PUNS, HAT PUNS, PINEAPPLE PUNS, LEMON PUNS, CARROT PUNS, LOBSTER PUNS, AXE PUNS, EGG PUNS, SOUP PUNS, PICKLE PUNS, CHOCOLATE PUNS, HAIR PUNS, PERIODIC TABLE PUNS and WOLF PUNS.
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