A collection of the best celery puns, jokes, riddles, and one-liners you will ever find!
Not everyone likes celery.
One survey even showed that celery is the most disliked vegetable among adults!
Nevertheless, celery is full of nutritional benefits and makes a great low-calorie addition to soups, stir-fries, casseroles, smoothies, salads, and dips.
Did you know that celery has negative calories? No, this is not a joke.
It has been actually confirmed that eating celery burns more calories than it contains.
I don’t have any delicious celery recipes for you but if you are looking for some funny celery puns and jokes you are definitely in the right place.
I have gathered the best celery puns, jokes, riddles, and one-liners for you below.
Without further ado, let’s dive straight into it!
The Best Celery Puns And Jokes
- What did the lettuce say to the celery? “Are you stalking me?”
- What do you call a nervous celery stalk? An edgy veggie!
- What vegetable might you find in your basement? Cellar-y.
- Why are celery stalks leaves never lonely? Because they come in bunches.
- Why did the gardener quit? Because his celery wasn’t high enough.
- What’s the difference between celery and snot? Kids don’t eat celery.
- What do you get when you cross grapes with celery? A wine celer.
- What do you call famous celery? A celerity.
- Are you a celery farmer? I’d let you stalk me.
- What did the lettuce say to the celery when they got engaged? “Lettuce celery-brate!”
- What do you call celery stalks covered in solid gold? A bunch of money.
- I woke up this morning and found that someone has dumped a bunch of celery on my front porch. I think I’m being stalked.
- Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm? It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.
- What is the celery’s superpower? Cele-kinesis.
- Why did the vegetable want a pay raise? Because he wanted a bigger celery. And maybe even a stock option.
- My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables. Well, not neci-celery.
- I got offered a job at a vegetable company, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t like the celery package.
- How does a farmer make money? Through his celery.
- What do you call divine celery? Celery-stial.
- What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? “She wasn’t right for me, so I really don’t carrot all.”
- I hate shopping for celery this time of year. Seems like they’re always out of stalk.
- How do you sneak up on celery? You stalk it.
- There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul. Even if it’s cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And vodka.
- The local grocery store decided to copy the big supermarket’s idea to reduce their prices on courgettes, cucumbers, carrots, celery, celeriac, cabbage and cauliflower, and now they’re being fined for breaking piracy laws. It’s because they sale’d the seven Cs.
- All you have to know about celery is that it’s made up of 95% water, and it’s 100% not pizza.
- Why did the man ask his boss for more salad? He thought he was due a celery increase.
- Is it okay to eat the Scottish lake monster’s vegetables? Not Nessie’s celery.
- Why did the chef quit his job? They cut his celery.
- It’s your birthday, let’s celery-brate!
- A guy goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose, a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says, “Doc, I don’t feel so good.” The doctor says, “You’re not eating right.”
- Why are all the other vegetables afraid of celery? Because celery stalks.
- A woman goes to a psychiatrist convinced her house is made of celery. The psychiatrist tells her he’s seen this sort of thing before, it’s called stalk home syndrome.
- What water yields award winning celery plants? Perspiration.
- What did the bunny ask his boss for? A raise in celery.
- Why was the celery arrested? It was accused of stalking.
- How do you make a vegan employee happy? Give them a celery increase.
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