A collection of the best chocolate puns and chocolate jokes you’ll find online: the funniest chocolate one-liners, riddles and more!
Who doesn’t love chocolate!
Fortunately, research supports that chocolate, especially dark chocolate, can be enjoyed as part of a balanced, heart-healthy diet and lifestyle.
Chocolate is naturally a topic of numerous puns and jokes. I have gathered the best ones for you below!
Just before we move on to the best chocolate puns and jokes, make sure to also check out these hilarious PINEAPPLE PUNS, BEAN PUNS, LEMON PUNS, CARROT PUNS, LOBSTER PUNS, AXE PUNS, EGG PUNS, SOUP PUNS, PICKLE PUNS and WOLF PUNS.
Now let’s dive into the best chocolate puns and jokes!
THE BEST CHOCOLATE PUNS AND JOKES
- I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. I think it was an Aero plane.
- There is life on Mars! I saw a bunch of ants eating my chocolate bar on the kitchen counter.
- What do you call a handshake between a chocolate bar and a carton of milk? Chocolate milk shake.
- What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before every weekend? A Payday.
- What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
- Why did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
- Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? He had a chip in his tooth.
- Why is a Toblerone triangular? So it fits in the box!
- Which Princess is addicted to chocolate? Kinderella.
- What do you call a person who eats chocolate with ketchup? An idiot. You call them an idiot.
- In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it’s chocolate.
- Investing in chocolate means putting your money behind bars.
- What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
- What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa.
- What type of bar is kid-friendly? A chocolate bar.
- Do you want to know how white chocolate turns into dark chocolate? Turn off the lights!
- What is the sun’s favorite chocolate bar? A Milky Way.
- A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could have 2. He said, “No. You can taek-won-do.”
- I heard a rumor Cadbury has created a new oriental chocolate bar. It could be a Chinese Wispa.
- Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
- The reason he went smiling all the way to jail is that the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
- I’m chocolate to my appointment!
- In this world, there are only two types of people: those who love chocolate and liars.
- What is a chocolate-covered car called? Ferrari Rocher.
- Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk.
- What is the best part of Valentine’s Day? The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale!
- What is Valentine’s Day’s favorite dessert of the French cat? Chocolate mousse.
- If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes.
- What fruit loves chocolate? A cocoa-nut.
- What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk? A mootation.
- Why did Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling!
- What’s astronauts’ favorite type of chocolate? A Mars bar.
- Every slice of chocolate pie has just about the same amount of protein grams at 3.14159265.
- I am don’t like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. I love keeping my Options open.
- The price of chocolate has skyrocketed! The other day, I bought a galaxy, a milky way and mars and the total price was astronomical.
- I like to break the rules. I had an After Eight at half-past seven once!
- Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pyramid covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. It’s believed to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rocher.
- I’ve got two Mars bars, three Snickers, a Twix and a Flake. Somehow, I’m just not cut out to be a bounty hunter.
- Whenever I try to lose weight, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
- What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookie.
- What happens before it rains chocolate? It sprinkles.
- What do you call a cow with a stutter? Cacao.
- I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
- Talking loud at the local chocolate factory is not allowed so you need to wispa.
- The chocolate couple decided to rent a two-bedroom sweet for their honeymoon.
- I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I am not going to lie, it was a Rocky Road!
- According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 3 days till Christmas.
- Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
- Life is like a box of chocolates – it doesn’t last very long if you’re obese.
- A man is found dead in a park covered in ice cream, chocolate flakes, sprinkles and cherries. Initially, the police suspected foul play and opened up a possible murder case, however in the end it was concluded the man had topped himself.
- How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate? He drank it before it was cool.
- What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate-covered aunts.
- A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. How dairy!
- What’s an electrician’s least favorite ice cream flavor? Shock-o-lat.
- Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done!
- Chocolate comes from cocoa which comes out of a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The end.
- You can’t buy happiness but you can buy chocolate which is kind of the same thing.
- What’s a balanced diet? It’s when you eat equal amounts of dark and white chocolate.
- What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar? “I just set my foot on Mars!”.
- A man walks into a room with a chocolate bar on his head. This is when everyone knew there was a bounty on his head!
- A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. He rubs it and a genie appears. “I will grant you three wishes,” says the genie. “For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol.” The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears. “For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds.” The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money. “For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me.” For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.
I hope you have enjoyed my selection of chocolate puns, jokes and one-liners.
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