If you are looking for some funny periodic table puns, you will love these hilarious chemistry jokes about elements and the periodic table!
The periodic table of elements is a tabular display of the chemical elements, which are arranged by atomic number, electron configuration, and recurring chemical properties.
It was created by Russian chemistry professor Dmitri Mendeleev in 1869.
The periodic table is full of element symbols that can be combined to create many different words. This is the reason why there is an abundance of puns involving the periodic table.
Just before we move on to the best periodic table puns and chemistry jokes, make sure to also check out these hilarious PINEAPPLE PUNS, BEAN PUNS, LEMON PUNS, CARROT PUNS, LOBSTER PUNS, AXE PUNS, EGG PUNS, SOUP PUNS, PICKLE PUNS, CHOCOLATE PUNS, and WOLF PUNS.
Now let’s dive into the best periodic table puns, chemistry jokes, riddles and pick up lines!
Periodic Table Puns And Chemistry Jokes
Here are the best ever periodic table puns and chemistry jokes that any science nerd will love!
- Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? OMg!
- I told a chemistry joke but there was no reaction.
- Two guys walk into a bar. One of them says “I would like some H2O.” The other guy says “I would like some H2O too (H2O2).” Only one of them leaves the bar alive. (H2O is water, while H2O2 is the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide, which will kill you if you drink it.)
- Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements? If you can’t curium or helium, you barium!
- What did the chemist say to motivate his team? We ARGON to BARIUM.
- What don’t you understand about copper? It makes perfect CENTS!
- A good way to remember gold is “Au gimme that gold”.
- What do you do with a dead scientist? You barium. That’s if you can’t helium or curium.
- Are you hydrogen? Why? Because I can’t live without you.
- Are you 11 protons? Because you are sodium fine!
- I really love the periodic table. Well, not always, but every now and again.
- What happened to the chemist in the cave? Berkelium (bear kill him)
- Do you want to hear a joke about potassium? K!
- I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table, just elements of it.
- I really enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table.
- I wanted to post something here for National Periodic Table Day but I’m out of my element.
- Keep your ion the prize!
- How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
- A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
- If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
- Why chemists are so happy when they are in the lab? Because they are in their element.
- I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
- What do you call dinosaurs that love the periodic table of elements? Nothing. They Argon.
- When Gold was kicked out of the periodic table, the other elements said, “Au revoir!”.
- You must be ethidium bromide because I’m tangled in your double helix.
- Are you made out of beryllium, uranium, and titanium? Cause you’re a BeUTi!
- Why can’t I buy occasional chairs and periodic tables in the same store?
- Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Only the Catholic ones!
- Are you feeling under the weather today? Because you look like you’re Na fine.
- I was going to tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH.
- An atom walks into a bar with a gun and the bartender says “Who are you and what do you want?” The atom replies “The name’s Bond, Ionic Bond, and I want an electron taken, not shared.”
- What do you do to dead elements? You barium.
- I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! (Na)
- What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? OH SNaP!
- Knock Knock, Who’s There? Beryl. Beryl who? Beryl and Lium.
- Are you made of fluorine, iodine, and neon? Because you’re so FINe!
- What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up.
- Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
- Argon walks into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve noble gases.” Argon doesn’t react. (Noble gases are unreactive.)
- Did you know that Iron Man was a FeMale? (Fe = Iron and Male = man)
- What’s Iron Man’s favorite amusement park ride? The ferrous wheel.
- Why did the bear dissolve in water? It was a polar bear.
- When someone I don’t like asks me to hang out I tell them sodium hydrogen. (NaH)
- Did you hear Oxygen and Potassium went on a date? Yeah, it went OK. (O is the symbol for oxygen, K is the symbol for potassium.)
- Nitrogen, erbium and dysprosium are so NErDy!
- Are you made of copper and tellurium?? Because you’re pretty CuTe!
- Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
- What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend? I am zincing of you!
- What do you get when you mix Uranium, Nickel, Cobalt, and Radon? A UNiCoRn!
- Guys, stop it with the puns. We’ve all sulfured enough.
- What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o Acid.
- Come on guys, these chemistry jokes are getting a bit boron.
- What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? HeHe.
- Why do protons have mass? Because they are Catholic.
- What do you get when you mix helium with steel? Flying cars!
- A teacher asks their class what the molecular formula for water is. A student replies, “HijklmnO”. The teacher says, “No you’re wrong”. Then the student says, “Didn’t you say the formula was H to O?”.
- All the elements are sitting at the dinner table and neon says, “Helium, don’t eat too much! You’re gonna get fat!”. Helium replies, “No I’m not, I’m the second lightest here!”.
- What is uranium + fluorine + oxygen? UFO.
- What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze!
- Is silicon the same in Spanish? Si.
- Why did the scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Hydrogen? Because it makes CAsH!
- What does a good doctor do for his patients? Helium.
- What’s the best formula for breakfast? Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen! (BaCoN)
- A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron, help me look for it.”
- The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies “I’m positive.”
- What sharp object do you get when you combine potassium, nickel, and iron? KNiFe.
- Where do you put dirty dishes? In the zinc.
- Have you heard the story about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
- What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CsI.
- If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
- The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
- A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.
- I was going to tell a periodic table joke but all of the good ones argon.
- Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
- What is the chemical formula for “banana”? BaNa2.
- What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon!
- If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
- What did one charged atom say to the other? “I’ve got my ion you.”
- What do you call a clown who’s in jail? A silicon.
- What is the chemical formula for sea water? CH2O.
- Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber? He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
- What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety.
- What did one titration say to the other? “Let’s meet at the endpoint.”
- What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph? “Breaking up is hard to do.”
- What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2.
- Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
- What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon. (diamond joke)
- Chemist 1: Do you have any sodium bromate? Chemist 2: NaBrO.
- What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
- Why are chemists so great at solving problems? Answer: Because they have all the solutions.
- What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
- Why does the hamburger yield lower energy than the steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
- Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!
- What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab? Oxidants happen.
- What do you say when someone throws sodium chloride at you? That’s a salt!
- Why shouldn’t you drink water while studying? It decreases your concentration!
- Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They are cheaper than day rates.
- What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees!
- What happened when carbon and hydrogen went on a date? They really bonded.
- What did one acid say to the other? You’re overreacting.
I hope you have enjoyed my selection of periodic table puns, jokes and riddles.
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